Greetings, Challah Back Readers!

Typically, this is a space for the voice of the Young & Jewish, but allow us to make this a more personal entry. While this is Challah Back with Eric and Stephanie, this entry is all Eric. These few short paragraphs are inspired by a woman near and dear to me, my grandmother, Mikki Ritvo, who recently left us at the age of 94.

It is never easy to lose a loved one and I cannot view Mikki's passing as a tragedy. She easily packed eighteen lifetimes of experience, love, kindness and teachings into her young 94 years. Mikki was so talented and amazing that she could fill any role - one of the first ever female business consultants; Smith College Gold Medal winner; Suzy Homemaker; Selma Alabama marcher with MLK; Dean of Lesley College; Feminist Who Changed the 20th Century (check the book!) and any number of other roles. To me, though, she was my grandmother.

When I think about Mikki, I don't think of her C.V. (she eschewed the word "resume") or her outward accomplishments; I think of my conversations with her. Almost always wearing her signature purple, she was a content and happy woman, but mostly, she was passionate. She had a passion for life and passion for understanding others. A woman who would not accept the first answer and rarely the second. Mikki wanted to know the why and not just the who, what, when or where.

Mikki pressed me to think and challenged my positions. She always encouraged me to understand why I made a decision to take Path A instead of Path B. She wanted me to take the time to get to know others in my ever-expanding circle of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. She wanted me to ask questions and not just hear, but absorb the answers. Mikki had a unique talent to probe others and render advice. I've been fortunate to meet many people who remember one conversation they had with Mikki years ago that radically changed the course of their life. Mikki never assumed; Mikki asked. Mikki never believed she knew someone based on her perception of their actions; she took the time to find out. Mikki knew that being understood by others was the original chicken soup for your soul. Mikki was a rock to many.

I find it more than coincidental that Mikki left us a few short weeks before I was able to join my chevre on Cabinet at our annual retreat for National Young Leadership under the blazing Arizona sun in Scottsdale. For those who may not know, Cabinet are the young leaders (ages 30-45) from around the U.S. and Canada who help drive their Federations forward, not just with regard to Young Leadership (such as TribeFest -- coming to Vegas, March 6-8, 2011 -- or Summer Missions to Israel), but with Campaign and other essential components of Federation life. Two weeks after I started the process of mourning my grandmother, I was surrounded by people who share a passion of mine. They share my passion for tikkun olam. They share my passion for understanding that giving back is not just an obligation, but a privilege. They understand that Federation does not exist solely to raise money for Jewish and non-Jewish causes. They are also passionate about understanding the effect these donations have on their recipients. They share a passion for creating a community bigger than themselves and leaving it in a condition better than they found it.

Most importantly, though, my chevre take the time to understand me. They share my passion for connecting with others. They ask me questions and listen to answers. Does it matter if the moment is five minutes between Retreat sessions, an hour over a meal or longer in the swimming pool on Shabbat? Not in the slightest. The emotion, intent and love is still there. During Retreat, I was with people who wanted to know how I was doing. They asked not because it is polite, but because they know that in the weeks after the loss of a loved one, one simply can be a confused mess of emotions, thoughts, feelings and actions. I certainly fall into this category. They asked because they want to understand and they want to help.

I will never forget the individuals who said Kaddish with me on Friday night at one of the rare Shabbat services I've attended recently. I thank the people who sought me out after services to give me a hug and ask how I was doing. I'd like to list their names here, but this isn't the introduction to a television show. Most importantly, I'm indebted to everyone who unknowingly paid tribute to Mikki by getting to understand me a bit better at Retreat.

I will mourn my grandmother and I will heal. That's what humans do. I will do this by relying on my friends near and far. That's how it works. I will continue to know that my grandmother is watching over me, ready with a question, happy to hear the answer and ready with a follow up. That's what I believe in. I will miss these conversations and, simply, I will miss her. I will miss her pride in my becoming the man I am today and, better yet, the one I will be tomorrow.

I write these words today because Mikki taught me passion and she taught me understanding. Hopefully, you will understand me better by having read these words.

Recently, our observant brothers and sisters fasted whilst mourning the destruction of the Temples. This holiday – lesser-known to many Jews – is called Tisha B'Av. Which got us thinking – what's up with all the fasting? We won't even GET to the avoidance of leather shoes, sex, and bathing. THAT's a whole other blog. And if you've learned anything about Eric and Stephanie, it is that we have many opinions on food, leather shoes, sex and bathing. 

So what is Tisha B'Av? Here is a quote from MyJewishLearning.com: “Although a large number of disasters are said to have befallen the Jews on this day, the commemoration is largely focused on the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem in 586 B.C.E. and 70 C.E., respectively.

Whoa...how many disasters are we talking here??? And when it comes to fasting, we cannot forget the Oprah of all fasting holidays: Yom Kippur. Basically, to show solidarity with disasters, atone properly and get written in that original bestseller, the Book of Life, we must fast.

Here's the thing, Esteemed Jewish Law: fasting sucks. We understand why we do it. It helps focus the mind on the task at hand. Hunger is an overwhelming emotion and every time the stomach growls it is a reminder that we are atoning, remembering the destruction of the temples or, according to the ever trustworthy WWW, large numbers of disasters. However, we keep coming back to a simple point: fasting sucks.

So, because we love our lists, here are Eric and Stephanie's Top Ten Reasons Why Fasting Can Eat Me. And since we destroy the temple of holy fasting, we satisfy your appetite with alternatives as well.


Top Ten Reasons Why Fasting Can Eat It:

1.  “Fast” is a misnomer. The less we eat, the slower the day goes.

2.  It's hard to hear the rabbi over my growling stomach. 

3. You want I should concentrate on the mistakes I've made and the people I've hurt this year, but all I can think about are hamburgers. 

4.  What if the mistake I made was burning dinner and the people I hurt had to go hungry for a bit? Isn't fasting redundant? Shouldn't we be forced to overeat?

5.  WHY fasting? If Temple destruction is our theme, why aren't all Jews ordered to stay home and make Temple shoebox dioramas? Shouldn't we spend the day building something, like, say, a new temple?

6.  If Yom Kippur is about seeking forgiveness, why don't we phone bank at our JCC's? “Hey Shira, it's me. Sorry I gossiped about you. KThanxBye. Hello, Ambrose?...”

7.  Jews and food go together like LeBron and Miami. Instead of no food on holy days, why not bad foods? We do horseradish for Passover, right? We eat fake ‘mortar’ and a bread knock-off already? Is Passover less meaningful because we're eating bad foods instead of no food? We think not.

8.   Why not turn the holidays into Survivor challenges? They destroyed our Temple. Jerks. Now eat this night crawler. That'll teach 'em.

9.   Fasting is inherently wasteful. When was the last time you attended a family meal where they didn't have 3.5 times the amount of food necessary? Sorry, mom, I can't eat your leftovers. I coveted the attractive spouse next door seven Tuesdays ago.

10.  Great, writing that made us think of that attractive spouse again. Now we need to fast for #9! Get us out of this vicious cycle!


Disagree?  Do you heart fasting more than Lindsay Lohan loves laughing at the U.S. justice system?  Feel free to Challah Back at us!

Stephanie and Eric

Can you believe it's Jewly already? The summer's flying! Is yours epic yet? Or will Summer 2010 be just another tar-strewn, ho-hum, wet blanket beach Babylon gone wrong? Not if you follow Stephanie and Eric's Super Duper Jewly Do It To It List!

TOP TEN REASONS TO LUV JEWLY:

1. NYL Israel Summer Mission Itinerary: Security briefing at army base, ride ATV's, de-brief soldiers later that night if ya know what I mean...

2. Get that bikini body with the upcoming Fast of Tisha B'Av.

3. It's always fun to make sand Masadas on the beach

4. Team Jacob! Team Edward! They sound like nice Jewish boys.

5. Remember, Vuvuzela is Yiddish for Shofar. GOOOOAAAALLL!

6. Experience a celebration of independence and freedom without having to replace your hot dog bun with Matzo!"

7. Start the month off giving props to our polite Northern neighbors, eh. What's Canada Day abooot?

8. Certain young humanitarians like Deaner and Tracey jet to the Caribbean to help JFNA help Haiti.

9. Ocho Cinco's reality show will FINALLY debut: Dancing with the NFL Bachelor.

10. Hello mudda. Hello fadda. Here I am at Camp Towanga.

Did you know that in 1998, Hasidic Jews smuggled over a million ecstasy pills (that's "hits" for all you ravers) into the US? Seriously! When I heard that, dear readers, I knew I HAD to check out the film pre-premiere of Holy Rollers with director/producer Kevin Asch on hand. We sat in the dark at San Francisco's stunning Contemporary Jewish Museum and watched, mesmerized, as actors Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland), Justin Bartha (The Hangover), rapper Q-Tip, Ari Graynor (Whip It), and real-life NYC nightclub guru Danny Abeckaser masterminded a massive pharmaceutical movement.

Asch was adamant at the Q&A that he didn't want to do a true crime film and re-create the story of the Hasidic crime king of jaw clenching and fabric petting. What moved him was picturing sheltered Hasidic youth running drugs from Amsterdam and the absolute culture explosion that created.

Because the genius of the late-90's kahuna of head candy was realizing that these kids were the perfect mules. Who'd stop a Hasid in customs? They're on the margins of mainstream culture enough that officials usually just wave them through. In fact they were told, "Just act Jewish" as a sort of protective shield against international bureaucracy. Plus who's going to blink if a Hasid travels to a diamond-cutting center like Amsterdam?

This Fagin of ravin's an evil genius!

Besides nail-biting scenes with curl-framed young faces walking in slow motion past drug-sniffing dogs, the coming-of-age theme this story mainlines is the tension between warm, close-knit Hasidic life in Brooklyn versus the hot, dirty, thrilling modern world of clubs, drugs, sex, strobe lights, and money, money, money. Watching Jesse Eisenberg's character drift away from his family is an overdose of conflicting emotions. Yay for the teen glimpsing the rest of the world! Boo for the kid's community closing ranks! Oy for the disappointed father!

Asch also touches on the facade of the Hasid. As the film demonstrates, all of us, Hasids and otherwise, hold a varying degree of belief that may change or be challenged over time. In fact, Kevin Asch, Reform Jew from Long Island, told me that, "in many ways, my research in developing the film...renewed my faith and reminded me of the importance of Judiaism in my life." 

He calls his film's brand of Judaism that distills the various Hasidic hues "Asch-kenazi." Loves it!

Speaking of intoxication, you know how sometimes you have to watch Discovery Channel late at night? Well the guy who got this film holy rolling, Danny Abeckaser, was doing just that five years ago when he saw a story about this ring of Hasidic smugglers. Now according to Asch, David had been dying to do some more acting. And big movie types had told him he'd better find himself a project. Well he called up his pal Asch with dreams of playing the lead non-goy gangsta, and the rest is history... if your short-term memory is still intact!

A riveting and researched tale of raving, redemption, and religiosity, Sundance-adored independent film Holy Rollers opens this week in cities near you. Challah Back suggests you grab a glow stick, and your tefillin, and check it out. I'm givin' it RAVE reviews!

And now, because your bloggerina works SO hard and is in most ways the very best at what she does, here is a quote from the director of Holy Rollers JUST FOR US!! I asked him how he thought young professionals might be attracted to Jewish life today [in lieu of party favors]:

"By remembering our past, by continuing the traditions set by our ancestors, and by giving back, in some way, to our community, young professionals, even in this modern age, continue to live a Jewish life. Perhaps, if Jewish leaders today focus on Jewish life first and scripture second, busy, multi-tasking professionals will embrace the fact that  being Jewish means being a good person. Now, that's a goal worth embracing." -- Kevin Asch

*Photos courtesy of the movie's website: HolyRollersFilm.com.